Happy August! Pushing good vibes and positive energy to all of my readers as we begin a new month. I love the beginning of the month because I always view it as a fresh start and no matter how much I thought I couldn’t handle living the month before I still managed to survive. So I am actually really happy to see August arrive because whew chile, the ghetto!
The month of July was a motherfucking shit show guys. From losing prized possessions to crying in the freezer at work next to potatoes and hot sauce. Yesterday, I watched as my friend lit a torch to her wax rig and handed it to me so I could inhale slowly as I swirled the hot pipe around in the sticky substance. As I exhaled slowly, watching the smoke dance in between us, I let out a sigh of relief. It was the first of the month and we made a pact to simply do better, be better. As I got ready for lunch, she artistically drew up my budget for me down to each day of the month. I felt like finally I was in the right mindset to get back on track.
With everything that happened in July I felt so disappointed in myself. The pity party was in full effect. I constantly found myself reminding myself that things were not going at all how I envisioned they would be going at this time in my life.
When I spoke with close friends and family about what I was going through and the feelings of guilt and failure I was overwhelmed they all said pretty much the same thing:
Shit happens Brit. It’s life. Life goes on. Life is full of lessons. Some lessons require a bit of pain. Learn from it and move forward.”-
Big Sis Jazz
It still took some convincing on my end. I prided myself for quite some time, especially after losing my mom, on being responsible even through the hardest situations. I genuinely just felt like I dropped the ball, and I did, but the ball was heavy to begin with and I had to remind myself that all I had to do was pick it back up.
It’s August 2, 2019 and dammit I am picking that ball back up. Is it still heavy? Hell yea, maybe even more so than before! I am a strong ass bitch though and I’ve got this. I need to incorporate positive affirmations into my self speech because if I tell myself I can’t do it then I never will. (I can be pretty damn convincing.)
I am excited to see what I do with this month and what I can accomplish. I am rooting for Mac and I am rooting for any of my readers that need to pick up that ball, as heavy as it might be. You can do this!.
The Open Owl 